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Housewarming tonight…

Despite my living almost an hour north of Sydney to avoid the hipster faggotry that exists with inner-city living, the GFC has forced their hand and more of them are moving north.  Closer to me.  Bastards.

The Cub and I have been invited to a housewarming in the same suburb as myself, and I’ve been tossing up whether or not to go but, at this point in time, I figure I should show face.  If only to shut everyone up. 

To be honest with you, I’d rather shove a live turtle up my vag than be social, but one dear friend is attending and is threatening to beat my face in if I don’t attend.  This housewarming is about 2 minutes from my home. 

I tried saying I had a mother’s dinner on [fact], but that’ll wind up at about 10pm at the latest.  Damn it.  I’ve run out of excuses.

Oh – and the residents of this house to which there will be a housewarming have demanded BYO and shoes off inside.  You all know how much I hate feet.  And it’s raining.  And it’s muggy.  And people are gross.  I am officially offended in my olfactories.  Fuckers!  Fuckers!  Cockass!

I hate people.  If they’re expecting a housewarming present, it will be impromptu and in the form of a steaming turd on the bonnet and smooshed in the rims of their cars.

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Categories: Rant
  1. November 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    Cockass indeed!

  2. November 16, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    I’d rather shove a live turtle up my vag than be social

    Quoted for hilarity.

  3. BourbonBird
    January 16, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    Yeah, I didn’t go.

    I did, however, watch the mothers of Chuck T’s classmates get tanked on goon. I prefer to drink at home and avoid being dragged to karaoke in the more questionable parts of town.

    = be the fuck away from everyone else.

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