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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Friends don’t let friends

July 25, 2010 1 comment

get away with saying “Friends don’t let friends…” as a way of discouraging friends from doing things that are inadvisable.

John:  “I’m hungry.  I think I’ll eat a rock.”
Jane:  “Friends don’t let friends eat rocks.”
John:  *eats rock* 
John:  *dies*
Jane:  *shakes head with a smirk of self-righteousness*

Where is this coming from? I’m seeing it a lot on Facebook and not only is it ridiculous, it makes me feel really old. And friendless, because nobody has said it to me.

Not really, I’d probably throw a stapler at your face if you said it to me.

Note:  The above hypothetical conversation between John and Jane may well have been my most uninspired ever in the history of everything and probably didn’t get my point across at all but it was amusing to me.

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Pessed.

I’m reading the latest issue of MO, a peer-reviewed medical journal that we receive regularly in our practice.  As I have a nervous habit of reading anything available to me while I’m outside with my coffee and cigarette (yes, I know), it wasn’t long before I found myself reading a clinical review on Female Urinary Incontinence. 

Riveting. 

Actually, it was.  As someone who has had one child already with a view to more in the distant(ish) future, I really only thought that urinary incontinence was secondary to bearing children and nobody else.  Save the elderly, where anatomical regression seems to be par for the course.  Pelvic Floor Muscle Training (PFMT), Bladder Training and Oestrogen Therapy seem to be first-line management techniques and, if that doesn’t work, then you look at second-line which would involve either a specialist referral or Tension-Free Vaginal Tape (TVT), Vaginal Pessaries and Botulinum Toxin Treatment.

Pessaries!

Pessaries, for all your pessing needs.

 
I decided, halfway through, to look at the references because the treatments seemed to be escalating rapidly in horrific names.  Tension-free isn’t what I’d be feeling if I had to go to a doctor for urinary frequency and/or incontinence, amirite?  Anyway, I found reference to an intravaginal device called the “Contiform”.  Apparently, it comes in four sizes.  Four sizes.  Small, medium, large and… gross?

That’s all I really want to write about this, because I have a load of chores to do before I get on with the rest of my day.  I’ve wasted this crisp winter morning watching Dropkick Murphys and Grandaddy film clips and checking out Jason Lytle’s website, and playing some MW2 while The Kid was sleeping in. 

I need to pee, but I’m sure I can hold it if I need to.  Win!

Cocktus

July 15, 2010 1 comment

This was about 50cm tall, greeting us joyously as we entered the local nursery to look for earthworms for our backyard vegie patch.  Dead set, it was impressive.  It went a long way to explaining the owners of the nursery, who were clearly liberal with a wicked sense of humour.  You know.  What a couple of funny pricks! 

I had nothing when The Kid asked me what I thought was so funny.

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